You Led Me to My Heart Once
by the Black Rose
Summary: AxL, LxK. Athrun's POV sometime after the last episode...'Athrun…' Your voice is so soft, I almost think you didn't say anything at all, like it's a memory replayed in my mind. I can see the shadows on your face, the dark circles under your eyes...


**Title:** You Led Me to My Heart Once  
**Author**: the Black Rose  
**Pairing**: Athrun x Lacus  
**Fandom**: Gundam Seed  
**Theme**: #1 - Look over here  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Seed. This fafiction has no commercial value and I am not making any kind of profit or income off of this story, or the use of characters owned by Sunrise and Bandai.

**Athrun's POV**

_I watch you walk into his room. And I know…_

_I know you love him._

_- _

How long has it been since you looked at me? It seems like forever.

There once was a time when I took it for granted. The way your blue eyes would glance at me - the ones filled with friendship and love for so many…

Even me.

I couldn't face it, then. There were so many who believed I was unworthy.

Of you.

-

_I crossed the street from the parking lot to the bookstore. I don't remember how long after the announcement was made. It must have been…not long before; after a while, I faded from people's memories. I was Athrun Zala, your fiancé, but no one remembered my face._

_"Hey! Aren't you…Athrun Zala." She was a short, chipper girl; I don't remember her face or her features, I just remember that she was there._

_"Yes?"_

_"You're the one engaged to Lacus Clyne?" _

_"Yes. I am." I nodded and tried to move past her into the store. But she kept on._

_"Wow! She's soooo pretty. How did she- How did you two meet?"_

_"Our families…are friends." I opened the door to go inside._

_"Oh. I guess that explains it, then."_

_- _

I never asked her what she meant. I'm sure I already knew. I was never anything special. I had ordinary talents: engineering was what I was born to do. My father's will… You were the only one besides my parents to find my…expertise to be a talent. You were the only one to see a lot of things I never could.

-

_"Our families…are friends."_

_- _

Friends. Our fathers were once, it's tough to believe. Before the Junius 7 incident, the man I called father was a different person.

A person who still cared about me. A person who thought the world of you.

-

_My parents came home that night from a rare dinner party - with your parents. My mother wore this regal-looking navy suit, and my father…looked relaxed in a sports coat. I don't remember my parents going places together much; at least, not without me. So this was a rare occasion, and one with a specific purpose I could never forget._

_"She's a wonderful young lady, Athrun. Very talented and well-mannered."_

_"Your father was very taken with her," mother said with a sly-looking smile. "I almost felt jealous."_

_"I didn't look at her like that."_

_"If you had, I'm sure Sigel would have kicked you out of the house altogether." She elbowed her husband in the ribs. "But really, Athrun, she's absolutely lovely."_

_My father nodded. "I'm very pleased with her."_

_- _

Patrick Zala was never 'very pleased' with anyone. Least of all me. I know he thought well of you then. I hope he told you so. I hope you can remember him for the person he used to be.

Because I can't.

You always were better about forgiveness than I was.

-

_"Did you kill him?" Your voice sounded stern in a way I'd never heard it before - and then you smiled at me. And that was your forgiveness. _

_"It's okay."_

_- _

It took me too long to notice… I was unworthy, in the eyes of so many.

Even my own.

-

_I was one level up from the ruckus going on. Dearka, one of the worst when it came to pinup magazines, hurried over to see the latest girl to grace the inside of Heinman's JINN._

_"Hey, hey! I like this shot. Too bad the skirt isn't a bit shorter."_

_"Or the top a bit lower."_

_"I think it's too bad she's got to be wearing anything at all!"_

_The whole crowd of guys laughed, as the owner held up the picture. I saw a flash of pink hair, and broke out into a cold sweat._

_I never wanted to murder my own comrades…_

_"I'd order a hundred copies if they did that!"_

_"You do know that she's Athrun's fiancée." Dearka turned away from the sight. I could see the anger on his face._

_"What?"_

_"Athrun Zala, the son of the Chief Councilmember Patrick Zala, and soldier on the La Kruese team."_

_One of the larger pilots stood up and took a menacing step towards Dearka. I clenched my fists and prepared to back him up if it came to a fight._

_"Yeah? So what's that mean to me?"_

_"Try to show some respect, you dickheads."_

_- _

But I never failed to measure up in your eyes. To you, it wasn't about any of that; I was just Athrun, the man you were going to marry. There was no question in that. No doubt in your heart.

Back then.

But now…

You step out of Kira's room. It's late, but I can tell in a glance, there was nothing of the sort of late night activities that happen between lovers going on.

Sadly, Kira's too far gone for that.

I know he needs you. I know he's lost. But, what about me? What about the loss that I feel?

Losing you…

You turn this way and I can't help it. I step out of the shadows and watch your eyes widen, and the surprise written on your face.

You led me to my heart once, Lacus….

-

_You looked so beautiful in that dress, your voice worked to soothe my racing pulse and anguished heart - even when I didn't want it to. I wanted to hate because hate was easy. Anger was easy… _

_It was so simple to be angry with you, to blame you…_

"_What is it you're fighting for, now? Is it the medals? Your father's orders?"_

_- _

'To protect you.'

"Athrun…" Your voice is so soft, I almost think you didn't say anything at all - like it's a memory replayed in my mind.

"Why…are you here, Athrun?" I can see the shadows on your face, the dark circles under your eyes. You appear thinner than I remember. Does Kira take that much from you?

"I came to see you." My hand reaches out and brushes a strand of hair from your face; it grazes your cheek, and I want-

The corners of your mouth lift up into a smile. "I see."

And you do. Your face looks like the sun rising on a beautiful, summer morning - the shadows disappear, and those eyes look my way.

"I've missed you."

I can't help but smile. "I've missed you, too."

My arm circles your waist, and I bring you closer. I lower my head, and our mouths meet…


End file.
